You Might be an Aircraft Maintainer IF.....
(If you don't understand these, don't worry, only a real aircraft maintainer would!)
You've ever said, "Oh yes sir, it's supposed to look
You have ever used soot from the tailpipe to blacken your boots.
You consider a TDY a paid vacation.
You have ever preflighted in really bad weather only
to learn that the flight was canceled hours ago.
The refrigerator in your barracks room is stocked
only with beer!
You know that you are the best maintainer in the military and your jet is the best in the fleet!
You can't figure out why two weeks of advance
per-diem is gone after three days.
You have ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your
You have ever bled hydraulic fluid into a Gatorade bottle or soda can because you are too lazy to go get a hydraulic bucket and the Hazmat keys.
You hate that people who work at the gym handing out
towels get the same pay as you.
You refer to ANY machine as "she."
You refer to QA as "the enemy."
You hate Ops, Maintenance Control, QA, and cops.
You've ever made a new pilot buy you a beer just to
put his name on the canopy.
You enjoy drinking beer after work and watching the
squadron next door pull an engine.
You think JP8 and Skoal wintergreen taste good
You know the international marshalling sign for
"pull your head out of your ass."
You know the words "beer", "taxi", and "hotel" in at
least three different languages.
You've ever worked weekend duty on a jet that isn't
flying on Monday.
You've wanted the jet to start just so you can warm
You can't remember half of your coworkers real
names... only their nicknames.
You fix 30 million dollar jets, but can't figure out
what's wrong with your $150 lawnmower.
Your toolbox at home has wheels and foam cutouts, just like the ones at work.
Some of the tools in your toolbox at home are
If the way you measure the cost of living in other countries is by the price of a beer at a bar.
~ Quotes ~
"Always remember, if not for the aircraft maintainers,
the world's hottest fighter pilot would be in the infantry!"
"You can train a monkey to ride a bike, but you can't train one to fix it!"
~ as quoted to pilots by pissed-off groundcrew for generations.
"It takes a college education to break it, but a high school education to fix it."
~ Fighter Pilots ~
Q: How do you know if there is
a fighter pilot at your party?
Q: What's the difference
between God and fighter pilots?
Q: What's the difference
between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?